Dealing With Resistance Back to Blog
Update: Kelly’s winner is…Kate! Congratulations, Kate! And thanks for all the comments!
Hi, everyone! Today it is my pleasure to have fabulous author Kelly L. Stone as my guest. I love Kelly–her books are incredibly helpful guides for writers. If you want to write, you should definitely read her work. She sure helped me find more time to write. Welcome, Kelly!
All writers face it—Resistance to writing. The time you had scheduled to write rolls around and conditions are perfect—you have two free hours at your disposal to do nothing but write. But gosh darn it, you just don’t feel like it. You wrote yesterday. Isn’t that enough? Suddenly the doorbell rings; the UPS guy is at the door! You leap from your desk, grateful to get pulled away from that blank page. Or the cheerleader coach calls—the parent who was supposed to cover the pep rally is in bed with flu. Can you fill in? And then there’s that sink full of dirty dishes fairly screaming at you.
Suddenly your good angel taps you on the shoulder. “You are supposed to be writing,” she whispers. “You have two hours before you even have to think about doing any of those other things.” She points to that goal chart hanging behind your computer that says you will finish your book in four weeks. Just how is that sucker going to get written? By osmosis?
One of the critical distinctions writers need to make is between a true distraction and when you are simply resisting getting to your desk. A true distraction is one that demands your attention—a sick child or pet, your own illness, a broken water pipe inside the house, or some other unexpected situation that is time sensitive.
Resistance is a tempting but not-time-sensitive task that lures you away from actual writing—the laundry, the dishes, email, surfing the internet, mowing the lawn, *conducting research*, and so on. Resistance to writing manipulates you into allowing general distractions to interfere with your work.
The key to dealing with resistance is to manage your thoughts. One way to do this is to utilize a pre-planned replacement thought when resistance rears its head. For instance, when you find yourself resisting writing, create a pre-planned statement to say to yourself. It can be something like, “Writers write. This is my scheduled writing time. I can do the laundry/dishes/check email/conduct research later.”
You can also practice changing your thoughts to manage your behavior. Start out by thinking of your goal as if it were already a reality, such as “I write three pages every day” or “I keep my early morning writing schedule regularly” or “I am a published author.” Then, act! Write the three pages, keep your writing schedule, send your work out so that it has a chance at publication. The more you practice managing your thoughts, the more your behavior will be goal-driven and the less Resistance will have a stranglehold on your writing.
Question for comments: How do you overcome resistance to writing? One random person will win a free copy of the LIVING WRITE, hot off the presses!
BIO: Kelly L Stone (www.AuthorKellyLStone.com) is the author of the TIME TO WRITE series, a set of motivational books for writers. The 3rd book in the series, LIVING WRITE: The Secret to Bringing Your Craft Into Your Daily Life (Adams Media) will be released September 18, 2010.
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Thanks for having me here today, Cynthia, and congrats on the release of DEADLY FEAR, which is terrific!
I’ll be popping in from time to time to respond to comments or answer questions.
Cheers!
Kelly
Resistance seems to have taken up residence at my house lately, so I’ve come to a local coffee house to focus. Obviously, its not working, cause here I am, LOL!
I could use a resistance exorcism about now.
Hi Debbie! Thanks for stopping by. I know what you mean about those distractions, but sounds like you have found a way around them– a new setting! 🙂 Now log off and write! 🙂 Cheers, Kelly
Hi Cynthia and Kelly,
I try to overcome resistance through setting a small goal that doesn’t seem overwhelming. Once I accomplish that goal, I generally feel able to tackle bigger things. Congrats on the newest book!
I needed this today. Thanks for sharing! I’ve been “doing research” for days and staring at the blank page of my last few chapters, just simple procrastinating and I needed the reminder to keep writing. I def. need a resistance exorcism. 😀
Thanks for this post, just what I needed to read! I use music to help me get back into the groove (so to speak). I link certain songs with scenes and then I use the music to transport me right back to the scene so I can write. Seems to work for me anyway 🙂
I try my best to stay focused on my characters by imagining how they would do whatever it is I’m doing at the moment (driving, watching tv, etc)…it helps keep them alive in my head!
And thanks for the giveaway!
Kelly, you are describing my current state. I’ll try your suggestion! Thanks.
Hey Kelly – Very good post. I don’t write (wish I could) – I read :). So how I overcome resistance to doing whatever I have to get done is to just do it. Can’t see how you could do that with writing though. Have to have words that make sense :).
I love the title of your book. I tend to put my emails and blog reading first, and I need to put my writing first. I knew this, but your blog is motivating me to actually do it. Thanks!
HI everyone!! Thanks for your comments!
Virna, that is a GREAT way to overcome resistance! Set a goal you know you can reach. Awesome! Sometimes we have to give ourselves little pushes to get the ball rolling again (or fingers :))
Hi Jessica! Thanks for your comment. Research is important but can become a procrastination tool– what I suggest is do the research after the daily words are written. That way, it doesn’t matter how long you take! 🙂
Lynsey, music is definitely helpful for writing! Have you read THINKING WRITE? There’s a whole chapter in there on how bestselling authors use music to help them write. Good for you for using that tool!
Great tip, Jamie! Thanks for stopping by.
Hi Michelle! Thanks for your post. Let me know it works for you. 🙂
Hi Viki! Bestselling author CJ Lyons recommends just typing anything to get the words flowing, even if it’s nonsense, so your advice is spot on!
Thanks everyone for the comments. I’ll check back in later today!
Kelly
Thanks Edie!! Getting the writing done first is usually the best way to ensure it happens. Thanks for your comment!
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I just tell myself I can’t be a published writer if I am not a submitted author. Then I crack the whip and get to work. Usually. 🙂
Thanks for the advice on using the replacement thought when the dishes and Google Reader are calling. I will definitely give one a try! Good luck with the new book, Kelly.
Hi Janel! You are soooo right! If you don’t write and submit, there’s a 100% chance you won’t be published. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by.
So, you’re saying I should have tried to cram in that 15 minutes of writing instead of surfing the net? JK–I figure with M&M looming, I’m doing well to have made 2 of 3 writing days this week.
Thanks for the reminder and looking forward to seeing you in a couple of weeks.
Thanks for this – good to see I’m not alone! 🙂 Reminding myself of goals sometimes helps; if not, just writing ANYTHING for a few minutes often gets the creative juices flowing again.
Congratulations on your release – definitely sounds like a keeper. 🙂
Hi Sally!
Well, not exactly. It’s important to determine your motivation behind the 15 minutes of net surfing.
2-3 days of writing is terrific!
Thanks for your comment, and I’m looking forward to seeing you as well.
Kelly
Hi Kate,
You are so right– having goals helps, and whatever needs to happen to get the writing flowing again is the key to overcoming resistance. And writer’s block. And everything else. ha ha.
Hope you enjoy LIVING WRITE.
Thanks for stopping by
Hey Kelly,
I had to stop by after reading the first chapter of your book. It was fabulous!
Great post. You can also use these tips for other things, not just writing.
The only thing I write are reviews and I have deadlines to read books and get my reviews done. So, I often have to go away from the television….sigh. All my favourite series are on in the evenings, my only free time…but I have to stand strong and only allow myself a couple.
Valerie
in Germany
Thanks Auriel!! Glad you enjoyed it. 🙂
Hi Valerie! Thanks for the comment. You sound very self-disciplined. Good for you! Thanks for stopping by.
Well, I really love reading and I enjoy writing my reviews…but I also love my series…hehe!!!
Valerie
in Germany
i try to do one thing every day that brings me closer to my goal(s). I want to write, so I write a small entry in my purse journal every day – no matter what the subject is. But I try to have a creative spin on it!
Your book sounds super-cool!
Kelly,
I think this is a huge issue for a lot of writers. For me, it somehow clicked one day–between wanting to write and doing it sporadically to dedication and commitment.
We hear over and over how professional writers write daily. So, like a job, that’s what we need to do.
I find keeping my daily goal specific–a scene, query letter, whatever–I stay focused. Once I’ve scratched things off my list (and writing takes a lot longer than you’d think), then I goof off.
Often it’s fear holding us back–but it’s up to us to learn to recognize that resistance and kick it out the door.