What I Got In The Mail Today…Or How I Know Someone Out There Hates Me Back to Blog
Okay…so I go outside, all nice and happy, and pick up my mail around noon. Looking for those perky little SASEs that mean I’ve got either a request or a rejection coming to me. Instead, I find a plain, white envelope, no return address, waiting on me.
Hmmm…
I open it, still hoping that maybe it’s something involving my writing. Maybe–
But no! It’s a dang chain letter. Oh, I HATE chain letters. This is how my letter begins:
“Greetings! This is NOT a chian letter.” Um, yeah, it so is. Liar!!
The note goes on to read: “This letter has been sent to you because someone wants you to receive a financial blessing.” Bull. Someone wants to torture me.
Apparently, if I don’t send this letter off to 20 folks within the next 96 hours, I can expect all sorts of calamaties to befall me. For example, “While in the Philippines, Gene Welch lost his wife 51 days after receiving this letter which he failed to circulate. After circulating his copies, he received $7,500,000!” Call me crazy, but maybe that money was an insurance payment (assuming, of course that Gene and his dearly departed wife are actually real people–not that I think they are!). But wait–is this a threat? If I don’t send out the letter, can I expect something to happen to someone I love? Or, gasp, will I be like “a young woman in California” who was “plagued with various problems, including expensive car repairs”? Gee, what are the odds of a car breaking down and needing repairs?
The letter ends with this inspirational quote, “I don’t know what your beliefs are personally, but I believe in Blessings from God through Jesus Christ, Our Lord!!!” Well, just FYI, I do believe in God. But I don’t happen to believe in the power of a chain letter. So, yes, this letter will leave my hot hands within 96 hours–it will be tossed into the trash.
Oooohhh…I hate chain letters, chain emails.
Now back to looking for my SASEs in the mail.
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